


fake snow

by RangerDew



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, Compulsive lying, Denial of Feelings, Getting Together, Loneliness, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21911752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RangerDew/pseuds/RangerDew
Summary: Five times Leon offered to spend Christmas with Raihan, and one time Raihan accepts.(A Christmas countdown fic for Leon and Raihan's lives from age ten to twenty.)
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan
Comments: 34
Kudos: 195





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> not betaed. im writing this on a whim because christmas is one of my favorite holidays if not my favorite

“Hey, where are you gonna spend your Christmas?” Ten-year-old Leon asks ten-year-old Raihan.

“Huh?” Raihan pauses in thought. “I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it.”

Little Leon looks at him as if this is the most scandalous thing he could’ve said. “But Raihan! Christmas is where you spend time with your family! And celebrate!”

Raihan shrugs. Leon is making way too big of a deal out of this. “I dunno, man! My dad is always busy bein’ a bigshot Pokemon trainer and all, so I don’t really know what to do on Christmas!”

“Well, what do you usually do?”

Raihan purses his lips in thought. “Uuh, stay at home. Watch the telly. Sometimes I get mayonnaise and make little snowman lumps.”

Leon’s face is becoming more and more horrified by the second, so Raihan decides to stop talking here. He frowns at Leon. “Why? What’s wrong with that?”

Leon lops Raihan in a big, big hug.

Raihan’s first instinct is to slap his hand on Leon’s big face. “H-hey, what are you doing! Get off me!”

Leon just hugs him tighter, though, and, through his muffled voice, says, “Raihan, that decides it! You are coming over to spend Christmas with my family!”

Raihan stares at Leon stupidly. Leon is still hugging him.

Neither of them make a move for the next two minutes.

Raihan thinks about spending Christmas with a real family for once. He thinks of the presents, the singing, the games they could play. 

He thinks of Leon.

But another image pops into his head, one where he’s off at the side when the rest of the family is off knitting sweaters of making hot cocoa. He knows he has no familial relations to Leon. Would they even let him into their house? 

Before he can change his mind, he pushes Leon off him. “Naw, Leon,” he says. “I think I’m going to spend Christmas by myself. I can’t make mayonnaise lumps when everyone else is watching me, can I?”

Leon looks at him, sadly, for a bit, and then his arms go up to hide his face. “Okay.”

Raihan tries to peer at Leon’s face. “Dude, are you crying?”

“What!? No way!” 

“W- Hey, get back here!” 

They run around, Raihan throws a snowball in Leon’s face or too. Leon may or may not have accidentally dumped a bucket of snow on Raihan’s head.

At the end of the day, though, Leon boards the train back to Postwick as he waves a hearty goodbye.

And Raihan still can’t place the empty feeling in his chest. He goes home and sits on the couch. When he still can’t chase away the feeling, he gets out his favorite Charizard blanket and wraps himself up in it.

_Leon has just caught a Honedge. It’s still higher-leveled than he had anticipated, though, so it nearly took off all the long hair he’d worked so hard to grow. Raihan laughs as Leon yelps and runs from it._

Raihan just feels even worse now. He wants to think about something else.

So he grabs the remote and turns on the television.

There’s a Christmas special where two lovers are estranged. They had both gotten amnesia and were trying to find each other, or something silly like that. Normally, Raihan would find this stuff super icky, but he must be _really_ down about his dad not being here this Christmas because his heart feels all achy as he watches the two partners try to find each other amidst the endless Wyndon crowd.

Raihan suddenly feels as if his blanket is drowning him. He forces himself off the couch and goes to find a stool so he can reach the mayonaise, but he soon finds that even making little snow lumps out of mayonnaise can’t satisfy him.

He sends out his Trapinch. It licks tamely at his mayonnaise.

Raihan suddenly feels very small.

The telly blares on about the two lovers. Raihan can’t hear anything but static as he feels the coarse texture of the couch beneath his fingers and stares at the mayo, melting on the paper plate he’d placed carelessly on the floor.

He wonders what he’s feeling, deep in his soul. There’s something missing.

He never quite places his finger on it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1... 2... 3... ta-da!
> 
> raihan forgot communication!
> 
> raihan learned sandstorm!

“Leon!” 

“Raihan!”

They smash into each other at the train station. Leon’s long left his luggage behind to envelope Raihan in a full-on hug. It’s a bit pathetic now, since Raihan’s long grown taller than Leon, but it’s still filled with the feeling that Leon always puts into it.

Leon lifts his head to give Raihan a radiant smile. “It’s been forever since we could have a day all to ourselves! I’m so glad I had the time to make a stop here before going back to Postwick!”

_Oh. Yeah._ In his excitement, Raihan had forgotten that Leon wouldn’t even be staying the night. _Tomorrow was Christmas, after all._

But the fact that Raihan had the honor of spending even just a day with Leon was good enough. He was so busy these days, and Raihan would’ve thought he wanted to spend the entire week with his family.

Leon just clasped his hands in his, though, and lead him down the streets of Hammerlocke. They talked and chatted and caught up about how crazy their lives had been in the past months, and then laughed some more. At some point, Leon’s eye caught an ice cream store, and they spent the next hour there laughing and making silly faces with their dessert. Leon had drawn on a ridiculous blush using his ice cream, and Raihan was currently laughing his face off. 

Raihan’s laughter dies when he thinks of the day ending. For some reason, it seems as if the thought has opened up an inconsolable pit in his stomach. He tries to redirect this. Leon is still laughing his face off, but his expression turns somber when Raihan starts to talk again.

“So… still enjoying the fame of Champion?”

Leon sticks his tongue out at Raihan. “Don’t be jealous! It’s been four years since I beat you”

“I’m not jealous! Come on, Leon!”

Leon crosses his arms. “But to answer your question… yes, I am! I’m rather satisfied with my position right now.”

_Big words._ Raihan looks down. “Even though you’re too busy to ever hang out with your family?”

_Even though you’re too busy to ever hang out with me?_

Leon actually looks thoughtful for a second. He pauses, and rests his hand on his chin. 

“...Well…”

Raihan waits patiently.

Leon flashes him a very secretive smile, one Raihan’s never seen on the cameras and one that makes his heart go _thump_ like never before. “The region needs me, Raihan. But this is the most fun I’ve ever had in a while.” 

And there goes all rational thought for Raihan. His brain is empty except for the phrase on repeat, _This is the most fun I’ve had in a while, too._

At the end of the day, though, Leon is back at the train station, his luggage stil in tow, never unpacked. He gives Raihan a pitying smile and says something Raihan never expects. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come hang out with my family this year? You look like you don’t really have anyone to be with.” 

Raihan freezes. 

It’s been four years since Leon last asked him that, back when they were ten and Raihan could still find some entertainment in stacking frozen mayonnaise. He’d thought that he would be a bother on Leon. Now…

He feels himself speaking without knowing it. “Would your family be okay with that? You’re barely home.”

Leon shakes his head. “You’re my family, too. I’d rather have you celebrating there with me.”

It’s too sudden, and Raihan suddenly wishes he wasn’t trapped in this choice because he can’t run home and pack his luggage without holding up Leon and he can’t say no to Leon because _his eyes look so pleading and upset._

But… 

Raihan thinks of being little, and being left alone in the corner at fancy parties by his dad. 

He then thinks of being alone in front of the telly all night.

...One of them feels substantially less lonely, and he thinks he’d rather not take the risk. He can’t stand being left alone again. 

And what if he makes things awkward? What if Leon’s family doesn’t know what to do with him? He’s never even met any of them before, despite being Leon’s best friend. 

Suddenly, it feels as if the cons outweigh the pros, and Raihan knows he has to speak before the decision escapes him.

“Sorry, I can’t.”

Leon’s face looks heartbroken. “Why not?”

Suddenly, Raihan’s mouth feels incredibly dry. “I-Uh- Can’t bother your family like that.” 

“You’re not going to be a bother.”

Raihan has already dug himself in too deep. “Well, you know… I still have to watch all the Christmas specials on the television, don’t I?”

Leon’s face has never seemed sadder, in that moment. 

The thousands of other excuses Raihan was ready to spout die on his lips. _It’s a family tradition, ya see, watching these Christmas specials?_ He was going to say. _I gotta see them and then make fun of how bad they are._ But he can’t, not when Leon looks like Raihan has just yanked his heart out and crushed it in a pile of salt.

So he just says the only other thing that comes to mind. “I’m busy, ya know? My dad might come home this Christmas.”

Leon’s face eases up at that, and his hands fly up to his face again. Raihan finds his heart clenching at the fact that Leon is crying for _him_ , right after he’d made up such a serious lie.

Leon steadily pulls his hands down, and Raihan can spot redness around his eyes. “Well, I hope you have fun this Christmas. And that your dad actually comes back!” Leon shakes his head. “I swear, it’s been four years since I met you and he’s never been home for you!”

Raihan laughs. “Haha, yeah… well, you know, he’s busy being a big-shot trainer and all!” 

Leon pokes Raihan in the face. “But I’m still the champion! If he wants to retain his big-shot title, he should challenge me!” Leon looks down, and Raihan is almost concerned for a moment before he hears Leon chuckle, and then strike his trademark pose. “He’s sure to have a Champion Time!” 

Raihan bursts into laughter, and he pushes Leon playfully. “Just go home to your family, dude!” _Why did I say that?_

Leon laughs back. “Will do!” 

There’s an awkward moment between that cheerful “Will do!” and the second Leon takes his first step to board the nightly train back to Postwick. Raihan stares ahead, unsure of what to say. 

He really doesn’t know what to after Leon leaves. He never does.

Leon flashes him a mini-smile, so small that Raihan isn’t sure if he imagined it or not, and turns around to leave.

The moment shatters, and Raihan is left alone.

He doesn’t remember much after that. He goes home, and he turns on the telly. There’s another Christmas special about lovers this time - Raihan doesn’t exactly understand what’s so romantic about Christmas - about two people who are accidentally stuck in separate worlds. In the end, the spirit of Christmas or Santa Claus or something equally stupid is what bridges the two worlds and brings them back together. Raihan finds it incredibly boring.

He hasn’t brought out the mayonnaise in years, but he’s still snuggled up in his Charizard blanket. Now that he looks at it again, the Charizard on it is a splitting image of Leon’s. 

He feels as if the world is swallowing him.

Once more, he throws the blanket off. In the background, triumphant music plays as the two lovers cry and kiss onscreen, full on making-out in a scene that’s probably not for little fourteen-year-old-Raihan’s eyes. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything. He doesn’t care about Christmas, or the Christmas spirit. There’s never been any for him before. The only present he’d ever received under a Christmas tree was his Trapinch, and it hadn’t even been from close family.

Tiredly, he fishes out his pokeball and sends out his Flygon. It’s big now, too big to snuggle up on the couch next to him, but it tries to nonetheless.

And Raihan gets a stupid idea.

He laughs weakly, and looks up at his partner. “Hey, you know what would be super cool?”

His Flygon looks curiously back at him. 

Raihan smirks. “If we totally wrecked this room.”

The next morning, Raihan wakes up amidst piles and piles of sand that he can’t fathom where from. 

He doesn’t feel exactly happy, but the satisfaction filling up his chest is better than nothing. 


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> social media grabs ahold of raihan lol
> 
> also i didnt want to make this too westernized even tho its set in britain id like some diversity so be prepared to like. see las posadas in an upcoming chapter or whatever if i decide to do that
> 
> real question: does jesus christ exist in the pokemon world? we will never know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter cuz its 1 am

“Wanna come hang out with me and Sonia today?”

Raihan looks up from his phone. “What?”

Nessa rolls her eyes. “You’re always on your phone of yours these days. Come on! It’s Christmas! And Hammerlocke is all decked out in lights and pretty trees this year. Won’t you please come?”

Raihan decides that the phone is more interesting than whatever conversation they’re about to have. “Eh, not interested.”

Nessa leans forward on the table. “You’re the one that knows Hammerlocke and all its shops the best. We need you as our guide.”

Raihan pushes Nessa’s face away from him. “Ugh, I’m busy, alright?” 

Nessa looks at him incredulously. “Really? What, do you have gym challengers on Christmas or something?”

“No, I just have more important things to do.”

“Like maintaining your shallow social media prestige. Yeah, I get it.”

That gets Raihan annoyed. “Come on, Nessa, why are you so desperate to get me to spend Christmas with you guys?”

There’s a bang on the table, and Raihan’s phone falls out of his hands in surprise. Nessa has her fist on the table all Ace-Attorney like, and she looks mad now. “You’re so lonely, Raihan! You can’t just waste your teenage years online like this! Sixteen-year-olds these days are all going exploring, shopping, making friends. All you do is text Raihan and curate this- this incredibly irritating online persona! Why can’t you get a life?!”

Raihan looks at her blankly. Nessa sighs. “Look, this was originally going to be a surprise, but Leon’s the one who wanted you to come. He wanted you to spend Christmas with him for once. With us.”

_ Leon’s coming.  _ “What?”

“Do I need to repeat myself? Come spend Christmas with me, Sonia, and Leon today-”

“No, no, no. Leon’s here? Isn’t he supposed to be spending Christmas at home with his family?” 

“He wanted to spend it with you this year. You’re as close as his family, you know. You might as well be his estranged lover, with how desperate he is to spend time with you.”

“Tell him to go to Postwick.”

“What?”

Raihan’s gut twists with every word he speaks. “Tell him he’s going home to Postwick. I wasn’t lying when I said I was busy.”

Nessa’s eyes bore into him incredulously. “With what?”

Raihan pushes his chair back from the table with one swift kick and stands up. “I’m going to be decking out the entirety of Hammerlocke Stadium in Christmas lights!”

In the end, of course he doesn’t. But he’s satisfied when he sees Leon’s social media post.

_ Just arrived in Postwick! Happy to be home for Christmas. _


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> age 17

**Leon 💥 (4:03): Christmas is in a couple days**

**Rai (5:30): yeah**

**Leon 💥 (5:32): You’ve been really distant lately, man! You never respond to my texts and stuff.**

**Leon 💥 (5:34): Wanna hang out on Christmas?**

**Rai (5:40): eh**

**Rai (5:40): i might be busy**

**Leon 💥 (5:45): Alright! Text you on the day of, then?**

**Rai (5:46): k**

* * *

  
  
  


“Merry Christmas,” Raihan says when the clock on his phone hits twelve.

Piers gives him an odd look. “I don’t celebrate Christmas.”

Now Raihan just feels awkward. “Um. I don’t celebrate it either.” _Then why did he say it?_ “I guess it’s just a habit now.”

Piers shrugs. “I don’t know. Honestly, this is just another normal night for me. I really don’t know why people make such a big deal out of it.” He closes his eyes lazily. “Too many lights and singing and sappy romantic movies.”

Raihan snorts. “You know, I’d have expected you to be into those romantic movies yourself. You’re so pleasant and stuff; I thought you’d enjoy a story about destiny or estranged lovers.”

“Yeah, but it just kind of comes off as fake to me.”

They’re hanging out in Pier’s room in Spikemuth. Raihan had come a few days before to battle Piers, but he’d ended up staying just a bit longer than necessary. It wasn’t like he had anyone waiting at home, anyway. The room is dark, but the T.V. is bright, and Raihan is incredibly thankful that the display on the screen is a multiplayer fighter game rather than the repetitive Christmas specials that play on his telly every year.

_He never does change the channel, though. When the Christmas specials come on. Why is that?_

He and Piers sit in silence for a while. It’s not awkward, Raihan thinks, because when he looks over at Piers he can’t sense any sort of discomfort from the other boy. But Raihan also has no idea what to do. 

Maybe he doesn’t have to do anything at all. This is how he usually spends his Christmases.

Then, Piers speaks up. “Where’re your parents?”

“Huh?”

“Well, my parents are probably off vacationing in Alola or doing something else just as irresponsible. Where are your parents?”

“Well…” 

He hadn’t exactly been lying about the prestigious trainer thing, but the whole truth was something he hadn’t even told Leon. It all started back when they were ten, with a lie that was based upon his fragile child pride.

Piers was looking at him expectantly. And dammit, Raihan was seventeen now. Piers had just told him something about himself. It would be unfair of Raihan to not return the favor.

Raihan sighs.

“My mum was a really strong trainer. Really strong. She died when I was born, though.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And my dad is a cameraman. Not very big. He’s off in Kalos somewhere, I think, taking pictures for tourists or trainers on routes.” Raihan closes his eyes. “The money she earned as a trainer is how I get to live alone, with a bunch of luxuries and stuff. She was pretty cool.”

Piers has now gone silent. Raihan is unsure of how to fill the sudden void in the conversation.

He checks his phone. There are three texts.

**Leon 💥 (2:03): Hey, I know this is a bit sudden, but I’m in Hammerlock on my way to Postwick! Are you busy right now?**

**Leon 💥 (2:34): Raihaaaaaaaaaaan. I texted you on your social media account bc I KNOW you just posted 20 minutes ago. Please respond : - (**

**Leon 💥 (7:54): I’m back home in Postwick, wyd?** ****

Shit. 

He looks at Piers, idle on his bed. He looks at the texts, and the timestamp. Two hours ago. Leon is probably having fun with his family now.

He runs the math through his head, and lays back down.

He’ll text Leon tomorrow to apologize. For now, he waits. 


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The age eighteen is technically when one reaches adulthood. But you never really grow up, do you?

Raihan is eighteen when a little boy with purple hair and bright yellow eyes crashes into him on the busy streets of Hammerlocke.

He’s startled for a straight second, and then the kid lifts his head and stares at him, confused. He eyes the boy. _A striking resemblance to Leon,_ his brain supplies. 

“Uh,” he says. “Where’re your parents, kid?”

All the boy does in respond is latch on to Raihan’s hoodie all of the sudden. Raihan has never been so lost on what to do before.

Just that second, he hears someone in the distance. “Hop! _Hop!_ ”

Raihan stands there awkwardly. The kid is still latching on to his clothes.

A familiar purple bursts through the crowd, and just like that, Leon is right next to him, fussing over the kid at his side. “Hop, you can’t just run off like that! Especially when it’s Christmas! In a big city! Do you know how dangerous that is?”

Hop finally lets go of Raihan’s shirt and latches onto Leon’s hand instead. “‘M sorry, Lee.”

Leon breathes a sigh of relief. “It’s no problem, Hippity-Hop. Now, let’s go find the train station, shall we?” Leon lifts his brother onto his shoulders with a _hup_. “We have to hurry or we’ll be late! You know how often I tend to get lost.”

From Leon’s shoulders, Hop giggles.

Then, Leon turns to stare directly at Raihan. “And because I’m so bad with directions, maybe this kind Hammerlocke citizen can help us.”

Raihan’s brain short-circuits. “Uh.” 

He has to say something. Both Hop and Leon are looking at him expectantly.

On his social media, what usually gets people? His laid-back smile, his coolness? 

Time to put on a show for Leon’s little bro.

He gives that lopsided smile he usually has on, and puts on his most cheerful tone. “How could I deny the Champion and his little baby bro? Come on, follow me.” 

They walk in pleasant silence to the train station. At least, Raihan thinks it’s pleasant. He knows Leon’s eyes are boring into his head, but he really can’t bother himself to think about it right now.

They reach the station, and Raihan once again puts on that smile that makes fans go crazy. “Have fun in Postwick, you guys! Don’t get a stomachache from eating too much!”

“Wait.”

Uh oh.

Leon is staring at him intensely now. Raihan knows he’s not backing out of this one. “Come spend Christmas with us.”

Raihan has to decline. “Sorry-”

“No. Stop. You’ve been getting more and more distant these past years, and I’m pretty sure you’ve spent more time cultivating your internet presence than talking to me this past year.” Leon’s face drops. He looks tired. “Please, Raihan. You’re one of my best friends.”

From higher up, Leon’s little brother speaks. “What’s wrong, Lee?”

Leon smiles weakly, and pats his brother’s legs. “Just sorting out things with a friend, Hop. You’ll do this too when you’re my age.”

Hop looks like he’s thinking, momentarily distracted. Leon turns his attention back to Raihan.

“Anyway, you’ve been acting less and less like yourself and more like some kind of separate persona you’ve created for yourself. It’s worrying. I just want the real Raihan back, not his evil twin.” Leon sniffs a little, evidently about to cry but pretty proud of his own joke. “Please come spend time with me this year. I miss you.” 

Raihan cracks a weak smile. “Really? I’m pretty loud and obnoxious, I’ll have you know.”

Leon suddenly snaps. “Please take this seriously, Rai!” At that, Raihan shuts up. Leon keeps going, though.

“I don’t want our relationship to be a joke! And I don’t like this from you! This ‘I don’t care’ thing! It hurts a lot when you ignore me in our texts, you know! Up there in Wyndon, it’s just me, and you’re one of the only peers I have to talk to!” From above, Hop looks startled. He tries to lean down to pat Leon’s shoulders, but Leon readjusts himself to keep Hop from falling.

Raihan is stunned. He really hasn’t thought Leon thought like this.

_Then again, he hasn’t really been thinking, as he?_

_How long? These past few years? He doesn’t remember anymore._

Before he realizes it, Leon is holding onto Hop with one arm and extending one out for Raihan. As a welcoming gesture. “Please. I just want it to be like the old days.”

_I lied a lot in the old days, too,_ Raihan wants to say. _Not just now. I’ve been lying all along. I lied about my dad, and being busy on holidays, and where I got my Trapinch from. I lied about getting a girlfriend when I was twelve, though I guess that wasn’t as serious as all the other times. You haven’t speaking to the real me, ever._

Leon is still holding his arm out. Raihan wants to accept. He wants to accept so badly.

The web of lies hold him back, and maybe something else, too.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Later, he’s talking with Piers again. _I feel as if I’m looking through everything through a lens,_ he says. _The world exists, but I can’t really interact with it. And nobody can reach me. I don’t even know if there is a me._

_I get it, man,_ says Piers. _I get it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic will not update probably until i get back from vacation!! seven days later!!!!
> 
> this may seem shocking, as it is a christmas countdown fic, but i also wrote it on a whim and it seems ive dug myself into a whole that needs a lot of explaining with probably a really long finale.
> 
> i don’t want this fic to have a weird rushed ending, even if it was written just for fun and not anything serious. 
> 
> also sorry if this whole paragraphs is written weird it’s 5 am and i slept at 2
> 
> thank you. see you then !

**Author's Note:**

> thanks please leave a comment if you enjoyed this updates daily until the big day itself


End file.
